A lot of people out there trying to help the homeless make some grave mistakes as they try to get the unhoused to trust them. Instead of respecting the world, the work, the locations, and the culture of the homeless, they often ridicule them.
That is not the best way to get people to "let you into their world" so you can begin to help.
There are some general guidelines most successful helpers on the street would agree are important to follow. You do not need to have a degree in counseling, an MSW, or many years of helping others to be able to do well.
Getting the homeless to confide in you, trust you, and work with you in the achievement of their goals depends on you following these recommendations.
First, you absolutely MUST respect their world. If they have a certain corner or bench or area where they are working, you must understand this area BELONGS to them. Arguing with the unroofed person by saying that corner belongs to the city or to the waffle shop behind it does you no good whatsoever in getting them to consider you a safe person to talk to.
Second, their time trying to get money or bus passes or other commodities is time they feel constitutes work. It is work, putting up with often clueless rich people walking past with $100 worth of groceries in a cart and being polite to those shoppers when they say they do not have any money or they are "broke."
Third, try to think of “reversing the situation” when you are talking to unroofed persons. Do they come to your job and tell you to get a real position? Do they tell you that is NOT your desk? NOT your office? NOT nice to bother people when they come into that office? How would you feel if somebody came to your office, walked across your desk, spit on your chair, and offered you a half-empty bottle of pop? Would you feel valued? Respected?
Fourth, stay out of skirmishes that arise on the person’s “corner” where they are working. If somebody comes up and disrespects the homeless person or threatens to call the police on them, do not intervene and tell the unhoused person to walk away from their corner. Do not defend the interloper from the homeless person. If you do that, you are lowering their authority. You are denying their credibility. You are telling the out-f-control visitor to the homeless person’s spot that it is okay to mistreat the unhoused person, disrespect them, threaten them, and take control of their corner away from them. Again, the homeless person does not come and help others take control of your desk at your job, or your ice cream scoop or your shovel.
Fifth, let the unroofed person use whatever name or nickname they give you, and do not ask them where they are from, what nationality they are, or why they wound up at that spot. Any such information is private, and they may or may not choose to tell you. Remember that the unroofed person may be running from something, think they are running from something, or at least trying to protect themselves from a very dangerous outdoors (often) setting and tribe of persons out to threaten, rob or kill the homeless. Or do worse things to them. We all remember the scenes of the teenagers burning homeless persons who are trapped in their sleeping bags.
Sixth, unless you are in tight with the homeless person you are trying to help, please do not ask them “how they became homeless.” This can be a maddening question and may be a way you are going to guarantee the person will put up their defenses and block you from getting more information… or a friendship… from them.
Seventh, do not argue with the unhoused person about vaccination, health care, politics, religion, or other touchy topics. These are never good to bring up casually. If the unkeyed person is very much against getting vaccinated—or too frightened—please do not argue and say they must do so. Better than saying, “You must get vaccinated and grow up and worry about your health and the health of others” you could say “I am concerned for you and hope you will take advantage of options out there, if you decide it is time to do so.” Unkeyed people do NOT want to be lectured to by a rich person (you are rich to them if you have: a place to live, a job, a pet, food, hot water, soap, towels, safety, health insurance, etc… something very few people on this planet have).
Eighth, show them respect always. Remember that an unbathroomed person simply does not have the conveniences that you do. They have challenges—finding food, drink, safety, aspirin, toilets, showers—and must spend a great deal of time working on getting such luxuries. Please try to help them with whatever you are comfortable with AND with what they say they need.
If they want postage stamps, please buy them some. If they want pizza and not vegetables or fruit, please honor that request. Do not do what is “best” for them. They do not treat you like a child. You should not do that to an unkeyed person.
Ninth, remember to give them options and take the time to listen to them. You can mention info about jobs or job lists or places hiring people. However, do not assume they want to work at Burger King or at Aldi’s just because there is that big sign in the window. An unkeyed person without consistent access to a shower might not want a job in very close contact with other people. This could create problems. Also, an unkeyed person might have more education and training and experience than you do. How foolish you might look—giving advice to a person with a graduate degree when you did not go to college at all. Open your mind and consider realities like that out there.
Tenth, try to seek options, resources, and other important news for the unbathroomed people around the city. You can mention such info “in passing” as you talk to them about something else—like the weather. Unkeyed people want “normal conversations” with others. That is the thing—they live in a crazy environment sometimes but they still want decent and daily contact with others.
Do these ten things that are good and helpful, and avoid the problematic behaviors mentioned above and communication can be good! Unbathroomed persons want to communicate—and do not want to be hassled. How can you help the person? By laughing in their face? By not buying them what they ask for? After you have gone to the trouble of asking what they “could use” to help them out?
Be reasonable. You are the rich person with the means to buy things of great value for the unkeyed person. A book of postage stamps costs $13.60 now. That would be so nice of you—if that is what the person wants and you do not ask “why they need that…”
Can you imagine going to the post office, ordering a book of stamps, and having the clerk ask you: “What are you going to do with these stamps?”
All of the above is meant in the hopes there can be always-better communication between rich people and the unkeyed persons working on their “corner” or other spot. Some unkeyed persons do not have a set spot or corner—but they quickly learn the rules. And there are rules out there, there are laws, and there are public sidewalks… all different kinds of realities working—mostly—in harmony.
Did you know the term “panhandling” is no longer used? It is terribly demeaning.
By the way, that activity is NO LONGER considered illegal in Illinois (January 2001). Only if a few locations is there a problem—such as 10 feet from a CTA stop, facility, or vehicle. Certainly ON or IN any of these places or vehicles asking for money is not legal. However, those are exceptions, for Illinois is a very big state.
Paulette (* a street helper we have interviewed twice) reminds us the homeless person is out there and trying to make it for a wide variety of reasons. There might be addiction involved, or they may have been evicted, or their house might have caught on fire. Judging them is NOT part of helping them.
Remember that there are now over 60,000 unroofed persons in Chicago. That is a lot of people to try to communicate with.
The mayor has now decided that the migrants (20,000 plus homeless persons in our midst) must leave the shelters and either 1) be placed in one of the city facilities being refashioned to accommodate them or 2) go through the process of applying to get into other shelters. There is also the welcome third option which is for them to magically find a place to live immediately. Well, it is welcome to the city so those persons can stop worrying about—and being responsible for—the migrants who do not fit option 1 or 2.
An important @case is coming up on April 22—Johnson vs. Grants Pass. In that action, we are going to see if a municipality will be allowed to criminalize homelessness in a technical sense—backed by the government.
With these kinds of challenges—and many more—daily, is it any wonder the unkeyed persons out there want a little respect? You can help by treating them decently, getting them what they want, and following some obvious and spelled-out-above guidelines.
Above all, please remember that the homeless should NOT be out there to begin with. Do not make the world of the unbathroomed worse by trying to force your culture down their throats. In doing the above, you can help improve communication between the unkeyed and the rich.
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For further reading:
* Paulette: One of God's Angels - by Thomas Hansen (substack.com)
Practical Advice from Paulette and Others on Assisting the Homeless (substack.com)