Review of “Coming Out to the Streets: LGBTQ Youth Experiencing Homelessness,” by Brandon Andrew Robinson, 2020. Oakland: University of California Press, paper.
Are families really innocent?
Brandon Andrew Robinson reports here on the qualitative research study in which the author was a participant rather than only an observer. This ethnographic study used extensive interviews to look at the lives and goals of young persons, both at home with their family and later when they are homeless.
The author makes the strong point throughout that they hope people will move beyond simply blaming the family for all the difficulties youth must conquer in order to survive the young-adult years. The author insists it is “the system” that needs to be fixed—not the youth and not the family. There would be many people who disagree with this author on this point, including many people who have battled through those difficult years and somehow made it to the other side.
While I am working on this review, there are two young men sitting right next to me who are talking about their families and how they never want to live anywhere near them again. One is insisting on staying away, and making a new life despite them. The other is explaining how he left his parents’ house this morning, went to a social service agency where he has been getting assistance, told them of his change of plans and change of address—and in fact went to the post office to change his mailing address as soon as possible.
That second youth insists his family thinks of him as being “slow” or “crazy” because he seems to be obsessed with his sexuality—according to them—and lets those aspects of his life they consider to be unimportant rule the rest of his time. He maintains he wants to be free—to go to school, work, meet people, date, and be the person he is really meant to be.
According to the young man, he himself will determine “who he is going to be” and nobody else will do that for him. The other young man agrees, he too wants to be independent and happy. Going back home would be a hindrance in his development also. He has no intention whatsoever of returning. Although he sleeps outdoors right now (I will not share where he says he sleeps) he says he is safer and better off than being at what he used to call his home and what he now refers to as “his family’s house,” according to him.
Although I keep moving away from the two young men, I can still hear every word they are saying and do not want to listen. However, they get louder and louder as they share their experiences and hopes out loud. I am embarrassed I can hear all this—at the same time I am thankful I am hearing such a timely discussion when I am trying to write some notes that will lead to a review of this book.
These two young men share a common story about the oppressive life they have lead “at their family’s house.” I know very little–if anything—about these two young men. I do not know their names or where they are from or what their parents are like. I do not know if anything they are sharing very loudly is true or not. But most everything they are saying is similar to a story I have heard from many young people for years.
To be fair, different people, in different situations and cities, will have disparate realities as they “come out” into whatever sexuality or personality they take on as adults. I would argue with this author that it is the great majority of young LGBTQ persons who have had the most difficulties at home—the very people who should be loving, supporting, and protecting the youths are instead perhaps the biggest challenge facing them.
Without the support of the very people who should be helping, these youth often have to make sure very hard decisions and face some terrible dangers to survive. In the meantime, the family continues to withhold their assistance.
The author shows why various forces oppress young LGBTQ persons, and how blame for the stress can be levied against several different pieces of the system. Teachers, school administrators, the courts, the police, and mainstream society in general are all to blame for presenting the young persons with great challenges and judgment. The author makes the point that the family is not the main problem and she does this strongly in the book.
Perhaps in this particular situation, in this exact shelter where the author interviewed young people, and throughout this study, and elsewhere in this book, the family is not to blame. However, I maintain the family is one of the most guilty parties in the oppression, judgment, and ostracizing of the young people who wind up out on the streets and facing terrible choices.
Stepping away from the book for a moment, it is important to look at some figures. The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law has found that:
· 40% of the homeless youth served by agencies identify as LGBT
· 43% of clients served by drop-in centers identified as LGBT
· 30% of street outreach clients identified as LGBT
· 30% of clients utilizing housing programs identified as LGBT
I have to believe that your average families, including the parents with whatever level of cultural and educational understanding, have no idea how much they are contributing to creating a whole population of young adults who are struggling to gain their independence and who have to make difficult decisions to do so. Young LGBTQ persons become involved in prostitution, selling drugs, using drugs, shoplifting and other sorts of crimes.
While the book has some conclusions with which I do not agree, it does offer a good and typical glimpse of the young people who have been damaged by their families (and church and school and neighbors and etc.). There is so much wasted time. Instead of transitioning easily from being children to being adults, these young people have to use a huge amount of energy to survive, learn, begin to work, and then establish new goals later in life, and become adults “later” than they wanted to in some ways, and “way too early” in other ways.
The author is right about that last point. Much as these young persons are still children, they are thrust into the rougher realities of an adult world not very interested in protecting them.
Great review and real. I wondered what you didn't agree with in the conclusions or solutions?