The Case of Natasha
Once when we volunteers were feeding the homeless in Moscow a French photographer approached me saying, "Each of these people you see before you has a soul.” I answered, "Yes, I agree but what does having a soul mean to you?" Then he told about the Swiss therapist Carl Jung. I quickly grasped that the photographer was taking photos in order to capture the very uniqueness of each person. I suppose Jung, as well as many Russian philosophers acknowledged that each person is endowed with their own exceptional personality. Jung also stated that the suffering of so many people is due to their story remaining untold. Instead of people listening to their story they can categorize people by putting them into their own little boxes according to their own stereotypes. They forget the homeless are not some gray mass but different people with their own distinct stories. Each is a rich, refined and deep person. Everyone is a mystery.
I was reminded of the photographer's words when I dropped into the offices of Nochlezhka in Moscow to interview someone. While I was waiting I sat down among some homeless waiting for consultation. I waited for some time. While waiting I noticed signs on the walls informing people of the hours when it was possible to drop in for a shower, consult a social worker or lawyer. My attention was drawn to two homeless people who seemed tense. They were having an unpleasant exchange of words. The man was restlessly pacing up and down nervously, drinking tea and looking for a place where he could light a cigarette while the woman seated on the other side looked anxious and distraught, touching her face and burying her head into her hands from time to time. She appeared very uptight. She approached me and asked 'Are you a social worker?" I answered "No I'm a journalist who has come to interview someone".{I often get mistaken for a doctor, lawyer or social worker especially in hospitals} We asked each other where we were from. It emerged that she had ended up on the streets because she had signed some contract where she had lost her apartment. She had been deceived by the black real estate agents. She told me, "I feel very stupid. I only have myself to blame. If only I had not allowed myself to be deceived. I feel so ashamed." I answered, "Look, we all make mistakes. You are not to blame. It is those black real estate agents who are to blame. They should be hanging their heads in shame and not you."
But I think my words were in vain. It was clear to me she was utterly traumatized. She felt a deep lingering sense of shame and guilt. There were unseen scars. I asked her if she knew any friends or relatives who might help her. She told me she was half Ukrainian and Tajik and had 15 brothers. But she told me, "I don't want to tell them that I am on the streets. I feel so ashamed of this. I rather they did not know."
Natasha is not the only homeless person I met who expresses this. So many homeless say the same thing. They feel a sense of torture just to reveal their 'secret'. In a sense a lot of homelessness is hidden. It is a well kept secret. Many relatives are unaware that a member of their family is destitute They feel the oppressive weight of stigma.
I attempted to persuade her that may be it was worth trying to contact one of her relatives or at least a friend. And the organization Nochlezhka offers all kind kinds of free services such as advice, counselling, free telephone calls and access to the internet. Who knows? Perhaps a family member would be happy to help her out. I suggested she provide the details of at least some relative who I might find via social networks. But, I and a friend searched but could not find a link. Then she told me, "I have changed my mind, I don't want you to contact any of my relatives." I wondered if Natasha had become alienated from her family for some reasons. But Natasha was rather reticent about what had happened so I refrained from asking unwanted and intrusive questions. She could not even come up with a single up to date or full address of a relative or friend. She had a 15 year old daughter who was living in Voronezh under the care of people. When I met her she had been on the streets for just over a month. She had been staying overnight in the waiting rooms of Belorusskaya railway station.
"The conditions are terrible. I hate staying there," she told me. Since she seemed very religious and was a Baptist I suggested we approach the churches in Moscow and ask for help. My idea would be to make an announcement at their service asking for a room. I had done this before and it had worked at two or three times. I managed to get a room from a Protestant and an Orthodox church. Then later I heard her saying over the phone, "I don't need any help. I have solved my problem. I have found work" and afterwards a call saying "My passport has been stolen. I don't want to stay in the railway station again." Although she told me she had got a job in a cafe she was worried they would not pay her. Her fears were well founded.
Many homeless I have spoken to complain of employers breaking promises to pay them owed wages. Since many homeless lack official documents they can easily be deceived by employers as they have no legal protection. And also research indicates that as many as 16.63% of the homeless have lost their documents rendering them vulnerable to ruthless employers.
One thing I noticed was how deeply distrustful Natasha was of people and how easily irritated she could become. She told me she had argued with her employers in a cafe and complained that a woman near her was mocking her when the woman was simply amused by the antics of skateboarders performing on the square nearby. I'm sure she has been the target of racism as many look down on people from Tajikistan. For I often hear racist comments directed at them.
Natasha was unsure what to do and where exactly to go. At times she told me how she wanted to stay in Moscow, other times Voronezh and later Tajikinstan. "I like Moscow. The people are so cultivated and educated" or " I miss my homeland in Tajikistan." She reminded me of the hero Prince Ivan in the Folk tale of the Firebird. In this story Prince Ivan rides to a crossroads with a sign post pointing to four directions reading 'Go this way and you will meet failure, this way wolves will eat your horse, that way wolves will devour you and that way you will suffer hunger and cold.' The difference is that if Natasha goes one way she might not be paid, another way go hungry and cold, another way attacked by criminals and another way driven away by police. In other words, it doesn't matter what a homeless person does: they will still face problems. The longer you are out on the streets, the worse it gets. It is not just a case of becoming less presentable through having no washing facilities or launderette but a profound loss of self-esteem.
A person on the streets can lose all confidence and self-respect. A lot of people look down on the homeless. They hold very negative stereotypes of the homeless. A survey by FOM shows that 44% of Russians believe people only have themselves to blame if they end up on the streets. The average person in Russia believes that people become homeless due to alcohol or drug addiction despite overwhelming evidence indicating that structural problems such as loss of jobs, fraud, evictions and family breakdown are the main causes. The wide extent of prejudice is indicated by just mentioning the word bomzhi. This word is an abbreviation for 'not having a constant place of abode'. Mention that word to some Russians and they erupt with laughter. What should be a source of sympathy and compassion arouses mere amusement.
It is small wonder that homeless people like Natasha feel the World is against them. They deeply distrust people. They learn to suspect so many people because they have been let down in the past. When you approach them to ask them a question they are often silent. They are reticent about telling their stories. Many are traumatized. I feel speaking to the homeless can be as difficult as interviewing war veterans. Just as war veterans are not keen to speak about the war, the homeless don't like to talk about their own past.
The problem when you are on the streets is that you have nowhere to look after your most prized possessions: your passport, mobile phone and other things. They can be stolen. When I last spoke to Natasha she complained her passport had been stolen.
I lost contact with Natasha. I could not even trace her location. She did not answer her phone.
For many people it is difficult to ask for help from other people. They feel a strong sense of shame or that they have 'lost face'. It wounds their pride to return home to their own local town empty handed after going to Moscow. I only hope that Natasha does not reject any aid which is often available. As the Head of Nochlezhka Daria Baibakeva states, 'A homeless person simply humbles himself into seeing himself as useless and unseen. He loses confidence in himself. Without qualified support from our organization and employers it is extremely difficult for the homeless to organize themselves on the streets. 'I hope that somehow Natasha manages to get out of limbo. Let's hope she sees better days.