Interview with Tory
Time for a big burger plus
We meet in the McDonald’s and immediately start joking about all our coupons we have to use right away. They expire if you don’t watch them closely. Each receipt allows you to enter their app, take a survey, get a code number, write it on the receipt, and then get 2 sandwiches for the price of one.
“Thank God for deals like this!” Tory tells me. “Otherwise, I would have starved way back!”
I agree. Yes, and this food is so good for you. Lots of brain food built in! I tell him…
He laughs. He and I have known each other for several years.
Then I tell him we need to begin. I will ask questions, and he must tell the truth.
“Okay,” he responds.
“Tell me the story of how you became homeless,” I mention.
He responds:
“Well, let me see, I guess it started when things were getting kinda crazy at my mother’s house. My brother and I were both living there, with my mom and her boyfriend. Plus my aunt (who is related somehow to my dad). When my mom and her man broke up, that really raised the question of who all was gonna pay the rent. It was a big apartment. Even though it was in a sh*tty neighborhood, the rent was high. I was in school and not working. My brother was working part-time but he had a car so all his money went there. And to his girlfriend. My mom had a little money coming in. My aunt went to live in a special building because she had issues but had insurance so she could get basically free rent there. Without that money, and with my mom’s boyfriend leaving, it broke up the family. Again, like we had when we were kids and my dad died. So there we were, trying to figure out what to do. My mom went to live with her sister back in Georgia. We could not go with her. So my brother and me started hanging at friends’ houses and partying. I was 22 so I could get beer, and my brother was 19 and making a little money. We slept in his car for a while and then he couldn’t do that anymore when he got serious with his woman. That left me out. I was outside.”
I ask him how long ago the car-sleeping stopped and how long he has been homeless.
“Hmm, that was like three years ago when I couldn’t stay in the car anymore. And a few months later I couldn’t stay with any friends anymore. Some friends went away to the army or to college and our whole crew disappeared. It was down to just a few of us. One dude moved in with some white guy (not sure why he did that but I have some idea and I ain’t gonna ask) and one of my best friends went to California to live with his older brother and his wife and kids. Life just kinda ended. Everybody was gone. Nobody had my back anymore.”
So I ask him what it felt like to be homeless.
“Well, I never thought about it before and then I was homeless too. I used to see old drunk guys and thought it would never happen to me. I thought it was just poor people and drunks and then I realized I was poor. And I was learning how to become a drunk, hahaha….”
I ask him if he is serious.
“No, not really. But if I had more money I would drink more! Who can afford it? I’m too busy finding food and women! Seriously, though, I have to get my sh*t together and get a place to live. I gotta get in somewhere. There used to be some places. There is a church in Evanston, but I guess they got lots of rules. I don’t think I would fit in and I could not follow all those rules.”
He has never talked much about plans or what he wants to be when he grows up. That’s the expression I use—I actually got it from a friend of mine who drinks hard every day and at this point is really not very interested in following any rules either. But we are always glad to see each other, and I remember a lot of talks I have had with that guy.
I wonder if Tory could ever follow just enough rules to get into a hotel program or church shelter… So I say, “Let’s talk about this a little. But seriously for a minute.”
He responds: “Okay, is this the part where you give me a lecture?”
I laugh and tell him there is no lecture coming today, sorry. “Hey, when do you plan to work on getting inside then? When are you ready to follow some rules?”
He glares at me, then answers:
“I gave up getting into an apartment a while back. Some people have luck, and I don’t have luck. So I keep trying to get by every day. You can make a lot of money in this town doing stuff but most of it you don’t wanna do. You don’t wanna get you’re a*s killed on the train or saying the wrong sh*t to the wrong dude. With the gangs and the stuff out there, you are better off just trying to make it and not make trouble. I’m young and I know people who have my back, and they have mine. I hope to get through this year and then when it’s winter I’m gonna move to Florida or something if I can’t find a place. Maybe I can sleep on a dude’s couch this winter… I don’t know….”
I look at him and tell him, seriously:
“There are agencies you can go to where they will help you sign up for waiting lists, help you find a job, help you find classes, and help you get some nice clothes and shoes. I can help you. I can point you in the right direction, kid. What do you think?”
He looks down, and he says back to me:
“I could use some decent shoes cuz these are dirty and fu*ked up… I should get some new shirts and get a job, I guess. I need to think about that stuff and make some money. I really need to stop playing and get real… I need to do something…”
We will see how it goes and if it will last.
The reader should understand that the frustration of trying and getting shot down, of always being broke, of losing jobs, of losing family members and the family home too… all of these things chip away at a person until only a shell is left. You ask your best friend to let you keep a shirt and tie at his place, and he throws them out or loses them. Every day is like starting over again, from scratch. You get fired, your mom leaves town, your brother is not allowed to have you over to his place, you don’t have money for cigarettes.
I look at him and say, “Tomorrow, we will start working on all that stuff.”
He shrugs.
I go to the counter and order him a special gift: a Big Mac Meal.