During the Chicago deep-freeze of the Christmas holiday, Kurt hid out a couple nights at a buddy’s house. He usually sleeps on the train—or if the weather is not too bad—behind one of the stores where his friends hang out and drink, smoke, sleep, and bullsh*t about what they have done that day.
He is alone—except for his drinking buddies. His ex-girlfriend is nowhere around. He has experience making pizzas and doing some other restaurant work. In a given month, he says he sleeps indoors “about 10 nights if he is lucky.”
He is 24 and is trying to figure out what he should do next. He did have a pretty good “IN” at a hotel where a church would pay for his room for 3 or 4 nights at a throw.
However, the attraction of shoplifting booze and goodies from area grocery stores pulled him away and took him back to the parties with his friends. They are his trusted companions. They stick up for him, travel with him, find him cool things to eat and drink—and strong weed to smoke.
They lure him away from hotels and churches and programs that can help him get out of the snow and cold. He hates being cold and wet… however, it is lonely in a quiet hotel room where you cannot have friends or parties—and where they keep a close eye on smoking and drinking.
That is the first half of his story.
The other half has to do with what he is going to do in the New Year. At least that is what I am trying to focus on during the interview. He is uncomfortable, and he wants to avoid this topic.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but yeah I guess I need to think about what’s going to change.” Kurt wants to improve his situation.
I offer, “Maybe if you wrote down some ideas of what you want to make happen in 2023 that would be good.” I stop and look to see how he responds. He does not respond, and instead just looks at me.
So I continue, “Well, I can help if you want me to… I myself am going to make some plans for 2023 and see if I can get myself into a better situation.” Kurt just looks at me.
I go on, “The booze is the biggest problem you have. How are you going to cut down on the drinking? Or how are you going to quit drinking completely?”
This stirs him up. Kurt answers, “I don’t know what I am supposed to do all day… what would I do? What do people do all day if they aren’t drinking? There’s nothing to do. There’s nothing to focus on. Focus on a job, I suppose get a job and that would keep me busy…”
I offer, “Maybe you need to go to a counselor and start sorting out what you’re going to do… quit drinking, get a job, go back to school, try to get back together with your girlfriend…:”
I tell him, “Some counselors would say you have worked hard to create the situation you are in.” I go on, adding, “You have a problem with drinking—and smoking—but the drinking is what needs to be worked on first, probably.”
Kurt asks, “Well, what happens next?”
I tell him, “We find you a counselor to go talk to and find out if there is a place to go to stop drinking. You need to get a handle on some of this. You need to think about ‘plans’ for what you are going to do.”
Kurt sighs, and he tells me, “I am already 24 and I have screwed everything up. I cannot go home because my parents have become disgusted with me.” He looks away, and he says the sun is bright in this McDonalds.
I can see he is shaking a little, and I reassure him, “You are going to be okay.”
He shrugs his shoulders. He adds, “My parents said they would pay for me to go to UIC and now I guess they won’t ‘cuz I f*cked up when I went there. The first semester I went there, I dropped out and wasted their money.
I ask him, “Hey, what were you going to major in?”
He responds, “I want to be a writer—like you.”
I laugh. “I’m not a writer, bro, I just like to play with words.”
He gets serious for a moment, “I need to get my sh*t together, and I need to think about a plan. I think you are right, and I think I need to start on this Monday.”
I laugh, “Okay, man, sounds like you are determined to do this!”
“Damn straight,” he says, “and he high-fives me.” He looks at me again, and he asks, “It isn’t too late to try to fix things???”
I look him right in the eye, and I say, quietly, “You are only 24, kid…
…You have many years to f*ck stuff up even more than you have so far!”
He shakes his head, and he says, “You make a really sh*tty counselor!”
I tell him, ‘I’m not a counselor!”
He responds, “Damn good thing!”
I ask, “What did I do wrong?”
He shakes his head, again, saying, “You’re supposed to encourage me, not bring me down!”
And I say, very seriously now, “You have to encourage yourself.”
Kurt sits there, stirring his latté. He whispers to me, “Wait til you see the sh*t I do in 2023!”