Clinton relocated himself and reinvented himself “just like Madonna!” he jokes. Just as Madonna changes her identity every few years, Clinton is a newer version of his older self. An addict who also loves to drink, he left the south side and “working” near the CTA stops and came north. He left the drugs, an ex-girlfriend, and a part-time job he hated all behind.
He still loves his beer, he winks.
Attracted by a “sexy buddy,” he says, he decided to come up to the north side of Chicago and “see what all this shit was about.” Clinton is “on the low” (hiding his sexual encounters with men) but his buddy is not. He thinks everybody knows about their on-again-off-again “thing they are into” but nobody talks about it.
Both the buddy and Clinton are homeless but like many people on the streets they call themselves “travelers.” They live outdoors, they tend to sleep on the train, and they often take naps anywhere they can as they move around from McDonalds to the bus and from the train to the library.
Clinton and his buddy are both Black, and they are about the same height—tall. They are both muscular and athletic. Them traveling together does not seem that out of place. Except that they are about 20 years apart in age… Clinton is always saying he “could retire and live off” his savings and investments. He jokes like this and shows he has some education. His buddy has a lot, and they do a lot of joking and laughing and playing with words.
Just like in the books about the Skid Row in the past, there are a lot of same-sex liaisons among the homeless and poor and addicts and drunks and unemployed and travelers and thieves.
Important to understand is that not every single man belongs to all of these groups.
Just like in the Skid Row of yore, sharing a sleeping bag or a bottle of beer is commonplace among single guys out there trying to survive. An older guy often protects a younger guy. This connection can be business-based, sexually-driven, romantic, lustful, spiritually-based, friendly, or simply handy.
Other single guys have a range of opinions about them, but most do not express those opinions. As part of the code of single men on the streets, the sex connection is simply not mentioned. New men who ask about it are “taught” to move on to other topics. Threatened to “get knocked out,” they talk about other things.
Women, tangential to a lot of groups of single men out there, do not know about the connection or if they do, they ignore it and do not mention it for fear of reprisal. They need links to men to keep themselves safe. The women do not judge—in fact they flirt and share food and money—to stay “in” with the single guys. If an unknown man from some other part of town or from some rival group gets to close, the men will protect the woman.
“I have seen guys come around and try to bother the girls we know or try to get with them and they get their asses kicked,” Clinton explains. The women are good friends and we treat them with respect. “They like to hang out with us ‘cuz they feel safe and shit,” he explains.
The women learn early on that many of the men will not bother them for sex, and the women are fine with that. The women never ask why the guys do not want sex. The men never ask the women for any sexual favors.
“It all works out,” Clinton advises. “Everybody is happy doing what they doing.”
Other single men, peripheral to the group of men who have sex connections to others, sometimes want to interfere and “get some” for themselves. Clinton tells of one guy who tried to sneak off with a cute young buddy who was spending time with a guy (Jasper) in the group who had good connections for drugs. “They spent most of their time doing it and would forget about the drugs,” he jokes.
A couple of the guys warned the guy to “leave Jasper’s boy alone or he would get fucked up” sometime very soon. The guy kept propositioning his “boy” and Jasper caught the guy pinning him to the wall in an alley and trying to force his pants down.
The next day, the intruder was walking around with a black eye, a bloody shirt, and a bad limp. Nobody asked because everybody knew what had happened. The other guys noted there was a lesson to be learned there and gave Jasper and his buddy a good wide path to travel in lest they would also be seen as intruders.
When asked how many single guys out there have such a down low connection, Clinton sets the estimate at about a third of the guys. “Dudes figure if they see two men together a lot there is a good chance they are f*#king all the time and dudes better stay away from them.” In some neighborhoods it is higher.
I wonder if there are more “couples” in gay neighborhoods or near gay bars but Clinton says emphatically, “Don’t ever call them couples.” He warns that they are buddies—a term which covers every kind of connection they might have. He says, “No, it has nothing to do with the neighborhood.”
Clinton jokes, “If the guys are sexy like me they are probably getting chased all the time.” So I asked him if he is sexy and he responds, “It is scary how sexy I am.”
I ask Clinton if it is true that Blacks and Latinos are more often down low than Whites and Asians, and he says he would agree that’s true. He says Blacks especially seem to live down low lives while other guys reveal more or just plain live “out” instead of hiding it.
He says a lot of guys understand laws of the street and the laws include knowing about the sex connections common out there. There are a lot of stereotypes about men chasing boys, too, he says. That is simply old-fashioned nonsense, he claims. “My buddy targeted me and pursued me til he finally got to love me in bed!” Clinton says his younger buddy is somewhat rough and definitely the aggressor in their connection. “He grabs me and holds onto me and romances me so rough like a dog,” he jokes.
So I ask him if he is being serious. He says that yes, the younger guy is the more “activo” (Spanish for “top”) in their connection. The younger guy is “always after” Clinton, he jokes. When I ask again if it is true the buddy “starts things up” in their connection, he agrees. On the more serious side, he confides that the younger buddy sets the stage for when sex will happen, and sets the stage for other things going on in their lives too.
The younger guy works part-time but is looking for full-time jobs. His hope is to get them both indoors and living in an apartment where they will be safer and more able to pursue their connection in a more serious way.
Clinton claims he has not thought about all of this as much as his buddy has, who talks about it “constantly” (according to Clinton). Clinton confides that he is not 100% sure that is the life he wants, but he says he will agree to it if that is what his younger buddy really wants. “I love being free but I hate being outside where I could get my ass kicked or worse any time.” Clinton has lost phones, wallets, money, and health by being outside where it is dangerous.
“I still love my beer and chilling out and hanging out with dudes…” he mentions. “I still want to have some time to relax before I die or get killed,” he adds. I ask what his buddy wants.
“My buddy is still young and deserves a better life. He deserves to be safe,” Clinton states. “He is a good guy who is good to people.”
I ask next if Clinton would live with him and marry him or be out or stay with him… fishing for some answers on where things are going between them.
Clinton responds, “Well, I am not trying to be all like ‘look at me, I’m marrying this boy!’ but if that is what he really wants I guess I would do it…and if we have a place to live… and love…”
Clinton shows he has pride in his relationship with his buddy and feels proud of who he could be, given the break of having an apartment.
So I ask about his past life and family on the south side of town. I ask if he would ever contact them in the future or go visit them. Clinton says, “Oh no—I don’t have any time for any of those people anymore.” He says that they have written him off and moved on with their lives. Clinton has moved on with his life too.
Asked what the future will be like for him and his buddy, Clinton laughs. “Well, if we get enough money to have an apartment, things will change a lot for us.” I ask if they will be monogamous or if life will be a big party. Clinton laughs again, saying, “I will not f*#k around with other guys, if that’s what you mean—and certainly not if we get married!”
I say quietly, “Well, it sounds like you might be interested in getting married and behaving, after all.”
Clinton says, “I am not a quitter.” Then he gets quiet for a moment. He adds, “I sure as f*#k am not trying to get divorced over here!”